1. |
One
00:30
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I’m not lonely now
Doing all the things I want to and working on my mind
Sorting through old thoughts
I go through them
One…
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2. |
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Will you ever trust me again?
Will you ever believe another word I say?
It’s so hard to trust again
When you can’t even trust yourself
It’s so hard to trust again
When you can’t even trust yourself
It’s so hard to trust again
When you can’t even trust yourself
It’s so hard to trust
When anything can happen at any time
At any time
And anything can happen, at any time
At any time!!!
And anything can happen, at any time..
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3. |
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Of course I want you
After everything it makes perfect sense…
Why can’t love be like in my dream?
Why don’t you show up when I want you to?
Why can’t it always be June?
Why can’t it be like ‘that one time’?
Why do I... why do I have to try?
Love should be effortless, shouldn’t it?
Or was it ever as easy as I played it back in my mind?
I talk about love like I’ve felt it
Really it’s just a container for my thoughts
It’s something to throw my loneliness and fear into
And my thoughts of you and touching you
I worry there’s something I could do better
Or maybe I just worry…
Worry is like water
Trying to get to the lowest point
Filling any container
Always drawn to the lowest point
Always drawn to the lowest point
And if displaced, it takes the same weight elsewhere
Oh no no no no
I can’t believe it doesn’t go away
Does it evaporate?
Will it ever evaporate?
Or is it mine forever?
Of course, of course, of course
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4. |
Closer to Mine
04:39
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Do you try to fix it or do you leave it behind?
Do you try to hide it or do you learn not to mind?
Do you learn to love it and put it on display
And pretend it was never any other way?
I try to respect my body in the shape that it takes
I try to respect my mind in the patterns it makes
I long for a body closer to mine
But I don’t want to seek, I just want to find
I need a lover, one who’s perfect for me
But I don’t want to search, I just want to see
I put the work in to let my love show
But will it work out??
I don’t know… I don’t know... I don’t know…….
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5. |
Interlude
01:48
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6. |
Waves Rising
03:37
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It’s supposed to be easy to love, but I’m finding it hard
Defenses go up
Tension in the muscles behind my heart
So hard to be soft with you
So hard to be gentle
Tension rising in my body
Waves rising in my body
All we want is to be seen and heard
We want so badly to be loved by each other
We built up ideas of one another into something so big it was destined to topple over
Oh I know, I know, I know you’re calling out for love
But your behaviour is driving me away
You don’t tell me what you want, you just act out and hope I’ll read you the right way
We don’t always recognize the part we play in pushing the other one away
In pushing the other one away
It’s so easy to see the fault in the other
Especially when that love is taken for granted
It takes work
Hard work!
It takes hard work to stay together
It’s not easy, it’s not easy, it’s not easy to love
It’s easy to hide and to boil over with rage
But it’s not easy to love
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7. |
Perfect Love
04:18
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I hold onto things so loosely, as light as I can
So that if it slips through my fingers I can easily start again
If I let you into my life, how can I not fear?
The closer I get to loving you, the more it would hurt if you disappear
But if I deny anything that might be lost
I will never love, never hold anything close
Oh I know that nothing lasts forever
Although it was once said, ‘perfect love casts out all fear’
I think fear is always in love
It’s the risk inherent in allowing anyone near
But if I deny anything that might be lost
I will never love, never hold you close
Oh I know that nothing lasts forever
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8. |
Frozen Window
06:02
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It’s easy to think you have forgotten the way you used to feel about me
Everything is different now
Our memories are useless now
How can I open to love again, like a plant searches for light through a frozen window?
Can I be loved, or is it all about control?
I will never know until I start again
Sitting on your couch, not speaking, I feel you losing interest
in me
I sense the image you had of me shifting, revealing all of my flaws
Yes I love myself, but like a mother, in spite of it all
It’s hard to see myself in positive light
It’s hard to hear the sound of my voice the way it is in my head…
But against all odds, I will open to love again, like a plant searches for light through a frozen window
Yes, against reason, I will soften once again!
Oh, somehow, I will love again
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9. |
Running Under My Life
06:14
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I’m not lonely now
Doing all the things I want to and working on my mind
Sorting through old thoughts I go through them one
Oh I go through them one at a time
Oh one at a time
Oh one at a time
It’s not very bad
Doing all the things I want to and working on my mind
Sorting through old thoughts I go through them one
Oh I got through them one
Oh one
Oh one
Ah...
I don’t have to explain my ideas to you ever again
I don’t share the things I love with you anymore
Some things you don’t get to see
Some things are just for me
Some things are just…
I used to have your life
Running under mine
A different tape running under my life all the time
What would happen if I kept that image in my mind?
What would happen if I kept that image in my mind
For more than a moment?
It would burn through everything
it would burn through everything
It would burn through everything
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Dorothea Paas Toronto, Ontario
|-| 3 |_ |_ 0
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background art/lettering/album art by Vida Beyer
Dorothea Paas recommends:
MIND SLUMS
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* eyedress + lemmon * very talented DIY prince/princess * chill/r+b-ish/electro/pop/poetry * tucson + manila
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Yummy
by poolblood
* perfect pop instinct * voice from heaven * songs for the heart and mind * feels like being in the same room
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